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Supporting Each Other

olive on stage

Supporting Each Other – Lovely Life Lesson from Little Miss Sunshine

Olive (Abigail Breslin) in “Little Miss Sunshine”

Pageant Official Jenkins: [outraged at Olive’s talent act] “What is your daughter doing?”

Olive’s Dad: “She’s kicking ass, that’s what she’s doing!”

– “Little Miss Sunshine” film

Do you have a cheering section? 

“It is deadly to be without a confidante, without a guide, without even a tiny cheering section.”

— Clarissa Pinkola Estés, “Women Who Run With Wolves”

Very true. But you must choose wisely who you surround yourself with. Cherry-pick your cheering section. You don’t need twenty-seven thousand likes on Instagram. You do need one or two (or many!) people in your Real Life who care enough to help you learn to trust yourself…and who will support, encourage, and challenge you to do whatever it is you are trying to do.

The 2006 film, “Little Miss Sunshine,” is a wonderful example of the importance of having a solid cheering section in life. It is a hilarious film that captures the wacky and wonderful essence of family…in all it’s dysfunctional glory.

Seven-year-old Olive has a dream: to take part in the Little Miss Sunshine Beauty Pageant. But Olive (played by Abigail Breslin) doesn’t look like the stereotypical beauty pageant contestant. And, as we soon learn, she doesn’t dance like the average one either.

Her cocaine-sniffing grandpa choreographs her dance routine and let’s just say it is…quite something. Unfortunately, Olive’s grandpa dies (of a cocaine overdose) enroute to the pageant (and is currently wrapped in a sheet in the back of the family VW bus), so Olive dedicates her grand finale performance to her grandpa…and proceeds to give it her all on stage.

But she nearly doesn’t get the chance to dance – because at first, her team of supporters try to stop her. They want to protect her from getting ridiculed.

By this point in the pageant, the rest of the family (Olive’s suicidal uncle, played by Steve Carrel; her angst-ridden teenage brother who hasn’t spoken in months, played by Paul Dano; and her personal-growth obsessed dad, played by Greg Kinnear) have realized that Olive does NOT fit into the pageant scene and is going to make a fool of herself. They want to talk her out of performing her dance number in the talent contest.

But Olive’s stressed-out yet supportive mom (played by Toni Collette) explains to them why they need to let Olive dance – even if she is laughed at.

“Olive wants to do this,” her mom explains. “She loves who she is. She loves to dance, and she’s worked really hard to prepare for this pageant, so we need to let her do this.”

And so, Olive performs her outrageously funny and completely inappropriate dance routine (to the song, “Super Freak,” by Rick James). Her family was right to be concerned: the pageant organizers and contestant’s families are shocked, then mortified, then outraged.

Yet little Olive dances on, determined to finish what she started.

When the furious pageant organizer tries to get Olive’s dad to cut short her performance, there is a pivotal moment when her dad is just about to get Olive to stop dancing – but then has a change of heart and instead leaps onto the stage and dances with her. The other family members soon join in, much to the chagrin of the pageant organizers – but to the absolute delight of Olive. She is thrilled to be dancing with her family in the pageant of her dreams.

It is a powerful scene for several reasons. First, it shows the importance of being true to yourself and having the courage to do what you want to do – regardless of what other people think.

Second, it shows the essence of a joyful soul…a person doing what they love, grinning ear to ear.

And third, it speaks volumes about the importance of having a strong and healthy support network in our lives – versus a collection of controlling people who are more concerned about the impact of your life choices on them – than your happiness.

Or...perhaps your life choices trigger some uncomfortable feelings about THEIR life choices – or lack thereof. Otherwise known as “projection,” I think it’s important we are aware of who may be whispering in our ear/commenting on our life…and why.

Who’s got your back in life? Share on X

Who is supporting your dreams and other endeavors – whether they are big, small, or not quite the norm? Who is helping your soul be joyful? Who in your life will join you on stage, if need be, and make an idiot of themselves in support of something that means a lot to YOU?

Likewise, who in your life might need you to jump on their stage once in awhile? What small but significant show of support might you be able to give to someone who could really use that extra bit of encouragement right about now?

We all need a small but committed team of supporters who will jump on stage with us, when and if we need them to. Or even if they prefer to stay watching from the sidelines, that’s okay, too…as long as they cheer us on, in their own way.

What we do not need in our lives are unsupportive, critical, and judgmental people who think they are doing us a favour by reminding us of why we can’t achieve our dreams (or should not have the audacity to even try) – and/or make snarky comments about our lives (online, to our face, or behind our backs) possibly because our courageous life choices are bringing their fears, insecurities, and regrets to the surface.

“Barrier Removed” inspirational quote cards (to help you achieve your dreams) available in our Etsy shop

Personally, I feel extremely blessed to be surrounded by a huge cheering section. Some supporters are louder than others…and that’s okay. Perhaps more than ever, I want people in my life who encourage me to keep moving forward – versus trying to hold me back.

Likewise, I am really trying to be more supportive of other people’s dreams and goals and life choices.

How about you?

Related blog by Maryanne

Oh What a Night!

Maryanne Pope is the author of “A Widow’s Awakening.” She also writes screenplays, playscripts & blogs. Maryanne is the CEO of Pink Gazelle Productions and Co-Founder of  the John Petropoulos Memorial Fund. To receive her blog, “Weekly Words of Wisdom,” please subscribe here. And be sure to visit our PinkGazelleCards Etsy shop.

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