Fatherhood
What Did You Learn From Your Dad?
What Did You Learn From Your Dad? When the Engine Light is Red “Alcoholism is a well documented pathological reaction to unresolved grief.” – David
June 10, 2025
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“What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
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What Readers Are Saying About "A Widow's Awakening"...
“I started reading A Widow’s Awakening on Sunday and finished it Monday. The first third of your book touched me in ways I hadn’t anticipated. I cried so hard, my eyes became swollen; the pain was so real. I haven’t cried that hard in a long, long time. The grief you expressed was so real to me, as I experienced my own grief in a similar way. Reading your book has been healing for me.”
“I thought A Widow’s Awakening was an incredible read, and I like that you were so brutally honest. I found myself taking notes all the way through as there were so many areas that grabbed my attention.”
“All I can say after devouring your book in 24 hours (which I have not done in three years!) …is that you could see me reading it in bed, on the seabus, on the couch…it is wildly energetic and honest and authentic and funny and real. I loved it…incredibly heartbreaking but life affirming at the same time.”
“All I can say is WOW! How did you do it? I laughed, I cried I laughed again and cried some more. It was the bravest piece of literature I have ever read.”
“I just finished reading A Widow’s Awakening and thought it beautifully written. I was completely absorbed in every page . . . it was funny, sad and shocking. People can learn from the honest insight, all of the emotions that people go through when grieving the loss of a loved one. I think it’s a wonderful gift that you have given back in John’s name . . . a memorial fund that can make a difference in other people’s lives . . . because isn’t that what John and all police officers’ intent is after all?”
“I’ve read a lot of books this past year on grief. A Widow's Awakening was the closest description of my thoughts and feelings. I almost found myself cheering in some places. Finally…someone understands!”
“I wanted to congratulate you on your truly remarkable book. God forbid, if I ever have to deal with such a tragedy, I hope I can do it with the strength and resolve that you did. Thanks for sharing your experience.”
“Told with brave candour and intelligent wit, A Widow’s Awakening takes you on an enlightening journey into the worlds of policing, hospital trauma units, Orthodox religion, unsafe workplaces, and the unexpected areas our minds can wander into when life becomes almost too painful to bear. An inspiring story of coming to terms with the unimaginable in order to live a life with purpose and meaning, this book is a testament to the capacity of the human spirit.”
“I have been reading A Widow’s Awakening and wanted to say thank you. It’s so beautiful and so real. Like you, I lived it. The love of my life was killed at work in Sept 2000, when he fell putting up rafters for a building. He was 52. I miss him so much and it still hurts. Your book is a wonderful gift and I treasure it…and the knowledge that someone else felt and feels the same as I do.Somehow I don’t feel so alone. Thank you.”
“I got home Friday night and was going to “start” A Widow's Awakening...well, I didn’t put it down till I finished!! I laughed but mostly cried. It was an amazing read . . . thank you for sharing.”
“Your book, A Widow’s Awakening, arrived Friday afternoon and I spent all of Friday evening reading it. It has been a very long time since I have done that, reading a book cover to cover, crying most of the time. You told your story so well and with such passion that I felt that I was in the room with you…I realize now that I have a great deal of hurt that I haven’t dealt with over the years and how it is my responsibility, like you, to find my true mission/purpose in life.”
“I am choosing A Widow’s Awakening as our first book club choice. I chose it because it had a deep impact on me. It deals with grief but it also forces us to face many difficult questions, such as the dilemma of mourning someone close to us, while at the same time becoming financially secure as the result of that loss…this is a powerful story that challenges many of our assumptions about grief.”
“After waiting for 8 years, I was not disappointed with the excruciating, painful story that unfolded on each page. The mind-numbing experience of a young woman losing her husband cannot be comprehended by someone who has not gone through this. Maryanne’s gripping, raw account of her journey, during and after this tragic time in her life is worthy of a good read. Her vulnerability in describing the events of the day of John’s death and her minute by minute survival is the closest I have encountered to being inside someone else’s skin. A Widow’s Awakening will give great insight to those of us who have not experienced this loss.”
“Just wanted to let you know that I gave my friend (who’s husband passed away) a copy of A Widow’s Awakening. She said it was actually listed as recommended reading by her support group.”
“My heart is beating harder and my breathing shorter. I am hugging my husband tighter and kissing him longer. I have burnt supper while reading "A Widow's Awakening"! I have read books until wee hours of the night but I have not felt this much about a book before. You are an incredibly gifted writer…I feel like I am right beside you and that I am getting to know John and your relationship together. I love how he loved you. I love your writing style, how brilliantly you tie everything together and how you authentically share your soul.”
“I read A Widow’s Awakening over the weekend…could not put it down once I started reading. The way you described your journey was extremely well done and thought provoking…and helpful to me as a Chaplain. I highly recommend that every Chaplain read it. It was a great read…very insightful and helpful. Your transparency did not sugar coat reality.”
“In her book, A Widow’s Awakening, Maryanne Pope speaks of the profound impact a workplace fatality can have on those left behind. From a workplace safety perspective, her message reinforces how important it is that every workplace is made safe for everyone. As a safety professional, it reinforces the importance of the work that we do.”
“A Widow’s Awakening expresses the gripping pain of losing someone you love, tragically and unexpectedly. Yes, it’s a novel….but the candid truth of this widow’s suffering is real. It’s Maryanne’s personal story, but it’s more than her story. It’s for anyone who has suffered a tragic loss…she captures the essence of a grieving soul. In a strange way you may feel relief because you’ve had some of those same feelings as she did that others often judge. You realize you are not alone.”
“My mind is still racing after reading your A Widow's Awakening. It’s been 14 months since my husband died. Your raw and honest words hit home. Suddenly, I felt connected because it was real. I loved A Widow’s Awakening because it is not one of those ABC’s of how to get over it. You tell it like it really is for many of us, even though we have a public face that hides the personal chaos churning away inside. You validated me and my struggle.”
“This fictionalized account of Maryanne’s story is by turns raw and gangly and then elegant and profound. She leaves her ego at the door and just lays it out bare—she is not precious with herself and gives the reader the whole spectrum of her response, from grandiose delusions to suicidal despair. The rollercoaster ride of early grief is accounted for with complete candor; her unflinching approach makes for a compelling, although sometimes uncomfortable, tale.”
“Just back from California with dreams of a carefree adventure when those dreams turn into nightmares of a harsh reality and uncertain future. If you are, or know of, a member that serves in the armed forces or is a first responder…this is a must read. Maryanne brings to reality her no holds barred look at life before, during, and after the day her husband, Calgary Police Service Constable John Petropoulos, died in the line of duty. How did she turn the nightmare back into a dream; a dream of safe workplaces for EVERYONE? This journey is emotional and inspirational and 18 years later offers some closure to those who experienced it alongside her.”
“A Widow’s Awakening gives a rare insight into the emotional roller coaster and psychological struggle experienced by the newly widowed wife of a police officer, senselessly killed on duty as the result of an unsafe workplace. This compelling account of personal tragedy and its aftermath is told with brutal honesty and a sense of humour uniquely her own. The dangers and consequences of policing, its effect on family, friends and comrades, as well as the author’s determination to improve workplace safety in memory of her husband, results in a fascinating and thought provoking book.”
“I read A Widow’s Awakening last week and thoroughly enjoyed it. The first part had me wiping my eyes at the end of every page but the last two parts basically summarized my time as a police officer. At first I was thinking ‘I don’t ever want my wife to read this book’ but when I got through the first part I started to think it would put things in perspective for her…it sure did for me.”
“In the remarkable, can’t-put-it-down book, A Widow’s Awakening, Maryanne Pope lays bare the raw, painful and sometimes embarrassing truth of what it means to lose a ‘soul mate love’ to the hazards of law enforcement, including the heart wrenching truth that her husband didn’t have to die the way he did.”
“Just finished A Widow’s Awakening a few minutes ago. Received a copy because I’m on the exec of Canadian Police Chaplain Association. Thanks for your searching, questing soulful vulnerability and authenticity. Your work inspires me to “be with” officers and their significant others. Take care. I hope our paths cross sometime.”
“I read A Widow's Awakening over the weekend…could not put it down. The way you described your journey was extremely well done and thought provoking…and helpful to me as a Chaplain. Having been in private practice as a psychological counselor and now serving as part of a pastoral staff and more recently as a volunteer Chaplain with a police service, I’ve had many conversations with individuals who have suffered loss. I highly recommend every Chaplain read it. Your transparency did not sugar coat reality – well done. In addition, we are using the JPMF’s Boots workplace safety DVD for training staff and volunteers.”
– Miriam Mollering, Pastor of Life Care Ministries and Risk Management Designate, Centre Street Church, Calgary, AB
“I just finished “A Widow’s Awakening.” I laughed, I cried, I laughed when I was crying. Reading your touching work has realigned my thinking in a way that Tony Robbins’ “Awaken the Giant Within” and Stephen R. Covey’s “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and Deepak Chopra’s “The Book of Secrets” all have. You’ve shone a light on many of the same issues I have been wrestling with in terms of writing and making a difference. Thank you!”
“I initially read A Widow’s Awakening years ago when I was in a very different place. I just recently re-read it again and there were so many things that felt palpable to me as I navigated my way through your words. Things that I naively thought were unique to my journey…through your awakening, I became enlightened and empowered.”
“A Widow’s Awakening is a poignant story about dreams, soul mates, pain, rage, grief, transformation and accountability. This book will awaken anyone who reads it to the truth of who they really are and what is ultimately important. It made me cry and it made me laugh…it made me soar and it brought me to my knees. It humbled me and it challenged me to ask the big questions of my own life. I salute Maryanne for her courage, insight, vulnerability, audacity and authenticity. I stand in awe of her ability to ignite the fire in each of us.”
“A Widow's Awakening is an incredibly powerful and moving book! Although I had tears in my eyes as I read each page, I think your messages are uplifting and are so important in challenging the human spirit to make our lives mean something meaningful in this world, by helping others and doing something more for society. It is so cleverly written and thought provoking. I haven’t enjoyed a book this much since I taught classic literature to high school students a few years ago.”
“Maryanne Pope writes with humor, skill and honesty. I was quickly drawn into her story and emotionally invested in her journey. I can’t remember when I have read a book in which the author revealed herself with such raw authenticity. The reader will join Maryanne as she struggles with so much more than grief and loss, and hopefully the reader will emerge, as Maryanne does, with new perspectives on love, family, spirituality, religion and how to live one’s best life when it is difficult to go on living at all.”
“I just finished reading A Widow’s Awakening. I laughed, I cried, I reflected. I wanted you to know it had exactly the effect on me that I imagine you wanted for your readers. My eyes, ears and heart were opened to many things, including the belief and trust in love and soul mates – which I myself have lost sight of.”
“A Widow's Awakening is FABULOUS...I couldn’t put it down! The story is gripping, and the writing is fluid and engaging. Bravo!! What I found the most intriguing is the religion/spirituality topic. I have already suggested the book to one of my clients and several of my friends.”
“WOW! As soon as I read the first line in A Widow's Awakening, I couldn’t put the book down. The truth on soul-mates, hope, after-life, happiness, sadness…you definitely told your tale as it is. I can’t stop talking about this book. I’m glad you shared your story with us.”
“Clunk goes the Coin. Soulmates are opposite sides of the same coin. I truly loved reading this book. It was sad but also enlightening…I enjoyed reading about the spiritual side of this story…the red light as referring to his soul; the earth, air, fire, and water elements; the stars in the universe; all uniquely genius.
A Widow’s Awakening really made me think about certain topics we take for granted…about things we’ve been brought up thinking, may not necessarily be correct…that everyone deals with grief differently, that there may be more to Christianity than we already know. I loved this book. It really makes you think.”
“I have just finished reading A Widow’s Awakening. Like others, I picked it up, became very absorbed and read it non-stop, every chance I got. It is perfect. The storyteller is wonderfully unpredictable and eccentric. I love her. Thank you for doing it and for doing it so well.”
– Linda M, Alberta
“I have read the first heartbreaking 100 pages of A Widow’s Awakening and you really do have a sense of story, character and dialogue. I could feel your agony when you lost your husband and what happened in the hospital. Thanks so much for sharing your book with me and I wish you and your company all the best luck in spreading words and stories that mend the world. What else do we have?”
A powerful and courageous book
"Your book is amazing and your story is an inspiration to everyone."
“After waiting for 8 years, I was not disappointed with the excruciating, painful story that unfolded on each page. The mind-numbing experience of a young woman losing her husband cannot be comprehended by someone who has not gone through this. Maryanne’s gripping, raw account of her journey, during and after this tragic time in her life is worthy of a good read. Her vulnerability in describing the events of the day of John’s death and her minute by minute survival is the closest I have encountered to being inside someone else’s skin. A Widow’s Awakening will give great insight to those of us who have not experienced this loss.”
“A Widow’s Awakening is a brilliant tale of rage and redemption . . . prisoner, prophet, victim or visionary . . . Pope is a master of dialogue who lays her soul bare . . . an exhilarating ride!”
“Just finished the book . . . loved it! I’m not a reader at all but I read the book hoping to relate to my mother’s situation of being widowed. I wanted to relate to her woman to woman rather than mother to daughter. I think your book has helped me to do this. Thanks for your honesty.”
“I happened to be in Chapters recently and walked by Maryanne. I had read about the book and I knew I needed to buy it. That was 3 days ago and I finished it last night. All I can say is WOW . . . what an incredible journey by a courageous woman. Thank you for doing this.
“I couldn’t put this book down! As the spouse of a firefighter, this unforgettable book made me feel that although there are dangers faced by emergency workers, everyone has the same right to safety. By the author exposing her real feelings and asking questions about the tragic death of her husband, she gives a sense of hope that the threats faced by emergency workers can be reduced.”
“In the opening of A Widow’s Awakening, Pope quotes the following from Stephen King: “Writing is not life, but sometimes it can be a way back to life.” With her first book the Calgary author has written her way back to life – perhaps not the life she has imagined, but a life nonetheless.”
“You almost want to apologize, reading Maryanne Pope’s account of her husband’s death. So vivid is her description, you feel like an intruder . . . to follow a young widow through the horror, grief and gradual healing which follows a police officer’s death is something unique for a reader, a voyeuristic journey both heart wrenching and uncomfortable.”
“It is painful, numbing and often infuriating. It is a tribute to the untapped strength we all have inside of us.”
“Your book is FABULOUS . . . I couldn’t put it down! The story is gripping, and the writing is fluid and engaging. Bravo!! What I found the most intriguing is the religion/spirituality topic. I have already suggested the book to one of my clients and several of my friends.”
“All I can say is WOW! How did you do it? I laughed, I cried . . . I laughed again and cried some more. It was the bravest piece of literature I have ever read.”
“I was deeply touched by your book. It got me thinking a lot about how to get back on track with what I deem success or a good life. Thanks for allowing your reader to taste the reality of your situation through your candour, cynicism, humour and hope.”
“I’m halfway through your book and absolutely loving it. You kind of hang your heart and soul out on the line, which takes a lot of courage. It’s making me think a lot about religion, life, death, love, loss, family and friends.”
“Thanks so much for sharing your story. I love it – and I’ll be encouraging my colleagues to consider this book. Reading the book puts into much greater context the work that you’re doing through the John Petropoulos Memorial Fund.”
“Just finished it – between the tears and smiles, I am overwhelmed. My last year has been an exercise in my own grief – the deaths of my marriage and my mother within hours. There is a certain kind of hurt that cannot be explained, only felt on the cellular. Your story was as close to capturing that hollow ache as anything I’ve read.”
“I have read the first heartbreaking 100 pages and you really do have a sense of story, character and dialogue. I could feel your agony when you lost your husband and what happened in the hospital. Thanks so much for sharing your book with me and I wish you and your company all the best luck in spreading words and stories that mend the world. What else do we have?”
“It’s absolutely fantastic! I cried like a baby, laughed like a hyena, and got angry like a summer storm all in the same book!”
“I wanted to congratulate you on your truly remarkable book. God forbid, if I ever have to deal with such a tragedy, I hope I can do it with the strength and resolve that you did. Thanks for sharing your experience.”
“What an incredibly powerful and moving book! Although I had tears in my eyes as I read each page, I think your messages are uplifting and are so important in challenging the human spirit to make our lives mean something meaningful in this world, by helping others and doing something more for society. It is so cleverly written and thought provoking. I haven’t enjoyed a book this much since I taught classic literature to high school students a few years ago.”
“It was awesome. We drove to LA and I could not put the book down. By the time we reached Primm, Nevada, I had read the whole book. You are a credit to the female population…a fighter to stand up for yourself and what you believe is right.”
“After reading Maryanne’s book, I felt it was necessary for others to hear her story. The reality is that emergency services personnel do die in the line of duty. It’s important that we learn from Maryanne and her life experiences. I’m confident that her story can be used as a tool to allow others cope with their loss.”
“I just finished A Widow’s Awakening. Thank you. I laughed, I cried, I laughed when I was crying, and I found a fellow Anglican who asks a lot of the same questions I ask. Reading your touching work has realigned my thinking in a way that Tony Robbins’ Awaken the Giant Within and Stephen R. Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and Deepak Chopra’s The Book of Secrets all have. You’ve shone a light on many of the same issues I have been wrestling with in terms of writing and making a difference. Thank you!”
“I have just finished reading A Widow’s Awakening. Like others, I picked it up, became very absorbed and read it non-stop, every chance I got. It is perfect. The storyteller is wonderfully unpredictable and eccentric. I love her. Thank you for doing it and for doing it so well.”
“My husband passed away November 9, 2007 at the age of 43 (massive heart attack with no warning signs). He was not a police officer, however I can truly relate to a lot of what you say in your book. I’m realizing that what I am going through is normal. Good days and bad days.”
“In January, my husband’s best friend took his own life. During one of our many weekly phone calls, she mentioned that she picked up a copy of your book recommended to her by a victim services worker who had recently attended an engagement at which you were speaking. You began as an inspiring writer, overnight you became an inspiring person and I just want to thank you for helping my friend.”
“WOW! As soon as I read the first line, I couldn’t put the book down. The truth on soul-mates, hope, after-life, happiness, sadness…you definitely told your tale as it is. I can’t stop talking about this book. I’m glad you shared your story with us.”
“I wanted to thank you, like so many people probably have, for sharing a part of yourself that was so raw. It made me feel at times I needed to close the book to give you your privacy back. Your book was amazing.”
“I LOVED your book! I cried, I laughed, felt your anger…and was willingly drawn into your opinions on Christianity, the transition from life to death, your feelings about the environment…it was really an amazing read. I selected your book for our choice for our book club, as I think it will spark so much interest and conversation in your experience. You have such an ability to move people in your speaking and your writing.”
“I started reading your book on Sunday and finished it Monday. The first third of your book touched me in ways I hadn’t anticipated. I cried so hard by eyes became swollen; the pain was so real. I haven’t cried that hard in a long, long time. The grief you expressed was so real to me, as I experienced (my own grief) in a similar way. Reading your book has been healing for me.”
"Wow!"
“Your book was amazing, completely inspiring, raw and I am, as always, so impressed with what you do…but more importantly who you are!”
“I am a professional in the community with a counselling background. I had worked for a bereavement agency in Calgary and heard of you…my fellow colleagues spoke highly of your book. They stated that all professional bereavement counsellors should read “A Widow’s Awakening” because of the raw, honest description of grief you experienced.”
Meet Maryanne
Maryanne Pope is the Founder & CEO of Pink Gazelle Productions. She is an author, playwright, screenwriter, blogger, speaker & workplace safety advocate. She is passionate about inspiring people to pursue their dreams. Maryanne loves to travel and lives on Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada.
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