News Flash: People ARE Going to Judge You…So What?

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

– Mary Oliver

Have you read The Let Them Theory book by Mel Robbins?

I finished it a couple of months ago. Loved it!

In the chapter entitled, “Let Them Think Bad Thoughts About You,” Robbins writes:

“Poet Mary Oliver asked this question in her poem, “The Summer Day”: “Tell me, what is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

I don’t know what your answer to Mary Oliver’s question is, but I do know this: Whatever it is that you plan to do, other people are going to have an opinion about it.”

After reading that, I laughed out loud. I know a truth when I hear one.

Funny thing is, I have had that exact Mary Oliver quote front and center on the home page of my company website for years. It’s one of my favourite quotes…but reading Mel Robbins comment about how other people are going to have an opinion about how we choose to live stopped me in my tracks.

Yes, I laughed…because it’s true. But I also wanted to cry…because it’s true.

“In the next few chapters,” writes Robbins, “you’ll learn how to use the Let Them theory to stop allowing other people’s opinions to hold you back from pursuing what you want and limiting your potential of your one wild and precious life.”

“You have no idea how big of a problem this is,” explains the author. “Neither did I. It’s easy to put on a façade that you don’t care what other people think, but the reality is, we all do.”

Of course we do, we’re human. We’re hard-wired to care what our loved ones think of us. At our core, we want to be loved and respected by our tribe.

“The truth is,” writes Robbins, “people will have negative opinions about you and there is nothing you can do to change this fact. When you allow your fear of what other people think to stop you from doing what you want to do, you become a prisoner to other people’s opinions.”

And how does this fear show up in our lives and habits?

“This fear impacts every aspect of your life,” says Robbins. “It makes you procrastinate. It makes you doubt yourself. It paralyzes you with perfectionism. It’s the reason you overthink.”

If this rings a bell, then I hope you’ll like this next piece of advice as much as I did:

“This is where that ends,” writes Robbins. “It’s time to give people the freedom to think what they want, Let Them. It’s time to set yourself free and Let Me make the small moves boldly and unapologetically that over time will transform your life.”

“Let Them judge. Let Them disapprove. Let Them have their opinions. Let Them think bad thoughts. Let Them talk about me behind my back.”

– Mel Robbins

“It’s life-changing to free yourself of this burden,” says Robbins.

It certainly is.

“Remember the fundamental law of human nature: You can’t control what another adult says, does, or thinks,” writes Robbins. “Try to and you’ll regret it. The more you Let Them think what they want, the better your life gets.”

Uh huh.

“What if,” asks the author, “you gave yourself permission to live your life, and you gave other people permission to think whatever they want about it?”

A wise question indeed. And while we’re being honest with each other, here’s one more:

“What change would you make if you weren’t worried about being judged?”

Because here’s the thing: no matter what we choose do with our lives, we will be judged – by strangers and loved ones alike. That’s what humans do. But so what? At the end of the day, we are responsible for our own lives and our own happiness. And nobody but us knows what that looks like.

As a dear friend of mine loves to say…you do you 🙂 

You’ve only got one shot at this wild and precious life…are you making the most of it? Or are you letting other people’s potential comments, concerns and opinions hold you back?

“Your highest potential is that part of you that is not limited in its expression by the fears of the physical world and the business of living.”

– Caroline Myss, Sacred Contracts

Maryanne Pope is the author of “A Widow’s Awakening.” She also writes screenplays, playscripts & blogs. Maryanne is the CEO of Pink Gazelle Productions and Co-Founder of the John Petropoulos Memorial Fund. To receive her blog, “Weekly Words of Wisdom,” please subscribe here. And be sure to visit our PinkGazelleCards Etsy shop.