Twenty-Five Life Lessons Learned Over the Past Quarter Century

“Where there is great love, there are always miracles.”

– Willa Cather

On September 29^th, 2000 I was widowed suddenly at the age of thirty-two. I can’t believe that was a quarter of a century ago! The time has flown by.

In the early days of grief, I remember thinking how the rest of my life loomed ahead of me like a sixty-year prison sentence…because the women in my family tend to live into their nineties!

In the first few months, I did not want to live without John. I had no interest in a life without him. So I had a choice to make: 1) End my life; 2) Stick around and live out my days forever feeling I had been royally ripped off or; 3) Figure out how to be happy again without him and create a new life for myself.

At some point, I chose door #3.

And then, as the months turned into years, I realized just how fast life was going to go. The happier I became, the faster the time went.

I’ve learned an awful lot of life lessons over the past twenty-five years. Some lessons were a heck of a lot more fun to learn than others. And some of the more difficult lessons I had to learn over and over and over again…and still AM!

And I know life has plenty more lessons to teach me in the years to come. But that’s okay…I suspect that’s what we’re supposed to be doing here, anyway 🙂

Here are 25 life lessons I’ve learned so far:

#1. Trust yourself. You know what you’re doing. But you have to learn how to quiet your mind and listen to the gentle guidance of your soul.

#2. Stay the course. Nobody said life would be easy. Whatever you’re going through, just keep going. As Robert Frost wrote, “The best way out is always through.”

#3. Set and enforce clear and healthy boundaries. It’s up to you to teach people how to treat you.

#4. Know thyself. And if you don’t yet know yourself, make time to do so. Your soul is waiting.

#5. Do the work. Show up every day and do your best at whatever it is you need to do that day. The process will reveal all. Eventually.

#6. Believe in love. 

#7. Be kind…to yourself, to others, to the planet. We’re all in this together. I have been on the receiving end of an astounding amount of kindness over the years. I would not have survived the journey without it.

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

— Plato

#8. Adopt an attitude of gratitude. Take a moment every day to give thanks…you will be amazed at how much more good comes your way.

#9. Meet people where they are at…not where you want them to be – or where you think they should be. Reality beats expectations.

#10. Take care of yourself. Self-care is not selfish; it’s mandatory. If you don’t take care of yourself, you cannot care properly for others. The world doesn’t need martyrs; it needs healthy, happy & productive people.

#11. Take care of your money. If you do, it will take care of you.

#12. Learn how to prioritize. When in doubt as to what action to take next, take a moment and ask yourself Life’s Most Powerful Question: “What’s Important NOW?” You will be amazed at the clarity you get. Every. Single. Time.

#13. Put your phone down and take a look around…look within. Don’t miss out on your life.

#14. Love your neighbour. If you can’t, move.

#15. Complaining is a waste of time and energy. As Ghandi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Instead of griping, take some sort of constructive action – no matter how small – to help make the world a safer, kinder, more tolerant place.

#16. When in doubt, travel. It’s a big world…go see some of it.

#17. Find what brings you joy and do more of that. 

#18. Become a good listener…that is probably the greatest gift you will ever be able to give someone who needs to talk out whatever they are going through. Likewise, if you are going through a difficult time: find a good listener. Pay a professional if you have to. Better out than in.

#19. One of the best investments we can make in our lives is spending quality time with kids and young people. You will never know the difference you make…in their life and yours.

#20. Don’t keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Not gonna happen.

#21. Choose wisely who you spend your precious time with. Surround yourself with positive, kind, encouraging and supportive people who will cheer you on when you’re on a roll…and offer you a hand up when you have fallen. Stay clear of the Negative Nelly Naysayers.

#22. You were probably put on this earth for a reason. It’s never too late to figure out what that reason is – or make one up – and go do it. Chop chop.

#23. Do no harm. Yes, it’s that simple.

#24. Don’t let anyone tell you what you can or cannot achieve. They don’t know. But you do.

#25. When in doubt, go where the love is. And if you can’t find any, create some.

Bonus Lessons 😊

#26. The surest way to fail at anything is to try to do it all on your own. Ask for help. Pay for it, if you have to.

#27. Keep the faith. Whatever that means to you…a belief in a higher power, God, a Universal Intelligence or just being a good person because it’s the right thing to do. It doesn’t matter what you believe in, if anything…all that matters is that you show up everyday and do the best with what you’ve got. Things have a funny way of working out. And if you’re paying close attention, you just might start to see the magic unfolding.

Maryanne Pope is the author of “A Widow’s Awakening.” She also writes screenplays, playscripts & blogs. Maryanne is the CEO of Pink Gazelle Productions and Co-Founder of the John Petropoulos Memorial Fund. To receive her blog, “Weekly Words of Wisdom,” please subscribe here. And be sure to visit our PinkGazelleCards Etsy shop.