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The Bigger the Failure

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Updated Jan 11th, 2024

The Bigger the Failure the Better the Lesson


A few years ago, I found myself delivering a safety presentation to a gymnasium filled with two hundred Junior High School students.

The kids were great. Rambunctious yes…but for the most part, attentive and well-behaved.

The presenter, on the other hand, well…she had a few things to learn. And what better way to teach an old dog a few new tricks than by placing her so far outside her comfort zone that she has no choice but to learn them. For in terms of what I consider to be enjoyable activities, public speaking to teenagers ranks slightly below having a triple root canal.

Admittedly, thanks in part to my Bohemian writer lifestyle, my public speaking skills were a bit rusty. But I certainly know the story (the circumstances that led to John’s death) and the John Petropoulos Memorial Fund’s (JPMF) workplace safety messages inside out and backwards. I had delivered our safety presentation dozens of times to a variety of different audiences over the years…but never to a gym full of 14-year-olds. In the past, other JPMF speakers had done the school presentations.

In other words, I didn’t know my audience and I hadn’t bothered to do the research to tweak my presentation accordingly. But (for a variety of reasons) since it was ME standing in front of those kids, it was me who had to deliver the presentation…so I did the best I could.

And it’s fairly safe to say I was a resounding failure.

But that’s okay because while I was flailing about at the front of the gym, focusing on the wrong elements of the story, failing to make our safety messages relevant to that particular audience, causing the microphone to make that horrific screeching sound (I think I actually heard some boos from the crowd on that…can’t blame them) and struggling with the damn audio/visual system, I was also learning.

I had no choice. My contact person at the school (also responsible for crowd control) just happened to be a very switched-on, take-no-guff Vice Principal who knew how to handle the students AND, I soon learned, how to make our safety messages relevant to them.

Since the kind soul  had to keep coming up to help me with the A/V anyway, at one point she started taking the microphone and explaining to the students the points that I (in an ideal world) should have been making.

Here’s a brilliant example of the Vice Principal in action:

She took the mike, looked at the gymnasium full of kids, paused a moment for effect (which really works by the way…the crowd hushed immediately), then pointed at them and said: “YOU have a role to play in helping make sure police officers, firefighters and paramedics make it home safely to their families.”

Then she pointed to the overhead screen behind her where an image from one of the JPMF’s videos was paused on the screen, then resumed addressing the students: “Those first responders come into YOUR school, YOUR homes and YOUR future workplaces to keep YOU safe! They are extremely well-trained but they are coming into an unfamiliar place and cannot possibly know all the hidden dangers…which is why you have to help make wherever you are as safe as possible.”

Then she handed the mike back to me. Wow. A little later, she did the same thing with our traffic safety messages.

Afterwards, I confessed to her that I had gone into the presentation not really convinced that young people – many of whom don’t yet have part-time jobs or their driver’s license – would find the presentation of interest or relevance.

To this she looked at me, crossed her arms (she is a Vice Principal after all) and said: “Do you have any idea how incredibly important the Memorial Fund’s safety messages are for kids this age?”

Obviously not…but I was certainly starting to figure it out.

“They are certainly old enough,” she said, “to understand that what happened to John was not only preventable it was completely unacceptable. The Memorial Fund’s safety messages and videos are powerful and effective…you just have to tweak the presentation so that you make it relevant to their age group.”

We’re not supposed to be good at everything

The very next day, wouldn’t you know it – but I was having coffee with a JPMF Board member. He, too, had delivered many safety presentations over the years but, like me, had been hesitant about the relevance of our safety presentation to Junior High students.

I told him all about the presentation and what the Vice Principal had said, including her specific examples of how to make the safety messages relevant to teens.

After I finished speaking, he leaned back, nodded and said, “Yup…got it. After hearing that feedback, I’ll do those presentations from here on in.”

And there you have it…we aren’t supposed to be good at every single task. If public speaking was where I wanted to direct my energy, then yes, of course I’d learn from my mistakes and tweak accordingly moving forward. But sometimes it’s okay to fail at a task for the purpose of learning and sharing what we’ve learned, so that someone else can pick up the ball and run with it.

Maryanne Pope is the author of “A Widow’s Awakening.” She also writes screenplays, playscripts and blogs. She is the CEO of Pink Gazelle Productions and a co-founder of the John Petropoulos Memorial Fund. To receive Maryanne’s blog, “Weekly Words of Wisdom,” please subscribe here.

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14 thoughts on “The Bigger the Failure”

  1. Sort of like The Serenity Prayer … don’t you think?

    Let me know when you get back to the Coast!?


  2. Great lesson, Maryanne! Those of us that come from an educational background understand that part. But those of us form education who speak to groups from industry have similar lessons to learn about their life/workplaces/knowledge. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve come away from a talk to a group of construction/O&G/pig runners/etc and think…’I won’t make that mistake again!’.
    No body has it all together, all the time. So proud of you to write about this lesson! Thank you! Nice to know I’m not alone.

  3. Hi Maryanne,
    What a wonderful perspective that you have shared with us. Learning to dialogue with the children and young adults of today ia a journey that I have embraced while supporting my great nephew, who lost his mom to a fatal brain aneurysm when he was 8 years old. Following a failed relationship of 2+ years we have met for lunch every Tuesday since April and he continues to want to meet.
    Something that I had always worried about was that he had never really grieved her loss and so we have travelled that journey together and he keeps evolving in his journey of discovery of who he is.The best part for him is that he is learning to re-invest who he is and is
    discovering his strengths and his talents. His loved ones are commenting positively and encouraging him on his journey.
    At 22 years old,h e has given me the gift of being able to communicate more effectively with the youth of today.
    Thank you, from Winnipeg MB, for your inspirations and stories.

  4. That is good word! You’re not meant to do everything. You were using your wisdom and humility to allow someone else to present to that group. My mantra is, “you’re only meant to do what you are meant to do.”

  5. Hi Claudette! Thank YOU for sharing your experience of going for weekly lunches with your great nephew…that is wonderful.

    Thanks so much for reading, take care & all the best in 2019!

  6. Oh yes…you know exactly what I am talking about, Julie! Over the years, you have spoken to many different types of audiences about Tim’s story and workplace safety…the learning never stops, does it? On BOTH sides of the podium!

    Take care & all the best in 2019 🙂

  7. This is a great story of learning. Thank you. I find myself in front of teenagers sometimes and really believe someone else would be more equipped to speak to them about grief. I think I will reach out next time I’m asked.

  8. Hi Crystal…Happy New Year! I think you need to do what feels best for you – and what you think will be the best for a certain audience. Reaching out for help and/or suggestions (or having someone else do the presentation and you listen in, to see how they handle it) are good ideas 🙂

  9. Hi Maryanne

    I love the honesty and the humility of this post, and yes, we often find out (sometimes in uncomfortable circumstances) that our strengths lay in some areas more than in others. But, what I think deserves celebrating here is the fact you threw yourself into the deep-end and did it anyway. That’s more than most people would ever dare do and that always deserves some recognition. The only way we grow and learn is by stepping out of the comfort zone, heading into the unfamiliar, and also by seeing our failures as an opportunity to learn, grow, and understand ourselves better.

    Great post as always my friend. 🙂


  10. Thank you, Elliot! Yup…I totally agree – the more we step outside our comfort zone, the more we grow. Win, lose, fail, succeed…doesn’t matter. All that matters is that we LEARN.

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