Menopausal Rage Interview
Maryanne Pope & Esther Kane
“For many women, especially those raised to please, accommodate, or avoid conflict, menopause strips away the ability to tolerate being interrupted, being overlooked, carrying more than your fair share, and being dismissed or undervalued. Anger becomes a sign that your inner self is done being silent.”
– Esther Kane, MSW
Ay Carumba!
Just when you think you’ve figured something out, the Universe sends you another curve ball…just to let you know how much more there is to learn!
Not gonna lie…I had a really rough Christmas. I won’t get into the details in this blog, other than to say that over a ten-day period, I experienced the wildest rage coming to the surface. It was ugly!
But in hindsight, it is also kinda comical because just a few weeks earlier, I had done an in-depth interview about menopausal rage with therapist, Esther Kane, for her brilliant podcast and You Tube channel, Compassionate Conversations with Esther Kane, MSW.
As you will hear in the interview, Esther and I had a very candid and in-depth discussion about menopausal rage and women’s anger. But as you’ll also hear in the interview, I rather made it sound like my rage and anger was a thing of the past…something I’d worked my way through.
Hah! Boy, was I was wrong.
And that’s okay. Because what I’m realizing is that as we get older and wiser and more honest with ourselves – and hopefully more open to allowing the curve balls of life help us heal – the more layers of ourselves we uncover.
Although anger and rage are not pleasant to experience (but they are sometimes oddly satisfying), they are effective tools that can help bring buried stuff to the surface…if we have the courage to be honest with ourselves about what we’re really angry at.
And just as anger and rage aren’t ‘one & done’ emotions (i.e. we only experience them once or twice in a lifetime), nor are they emotions that should be ignored, stuffed down, buried in food, drowned in booze…or run from.
Anger and rage are important indicators that can illuminate where we need to heal and/or point us in the direction of a change we know we need to make in our lives. Yes, anger and rage can be ugly and embarrassing to experience (who is that crazy lady screaming in the street?! Oh my God, it’s ME!) but if we are uncomfortable with our own behavior, it’s time to pay attention.
“Don’t rush through the experiences and circumstances that have the most capacity to transform you.”
– Rob Bell
Now, back to my interview with Esther Kane: here is the first part of the excellent blog she wrote about our podcast/video:
Menopause Rage: What’s REALLY Behind Your Anger
Menopause has long been discussed in hushed tones, as if the emotional turbulence that accompanies it is something to hide. But the truth is that many women — especially highly sensitive women and women with a history of trauma — experience intense irritability, frustration, and even blind fury during the menopausal transition.
If this has been your experience, you’re not alone, and you’re not “losing it.” In fact, there are deeply valid physiological, psychological, and trauma-related reasons why this happens.
In this article, we’ll explore why menopausal rage is so intense, what it’s really trying to tell you, and how you can navigate this phase with more understanding, compassion, and groundedness.
What Is Menopausal Rage?
Menopausal rage refers to the sudden, often overwhelming anger many women feel during perimenopause and menopause. It can come out of nowhere, feel disproportionate to the situation, and leave you wondering:
“Where on Earth did that come from?”
Common experiences include:
- Sudden irritability or frustration
- Feeling overstimulated (especially for HSPs)
- Difficulty regulating emotions
- Feeling misunderstood or dismissed
- Anger that turns into guilt or shame
This emotional volatility isn’t just “hormones” — it’s a complex interplay of biology, nervous system shifts, identity changes, and often, old trauma surfacing for healing…
Here is the link to watch the video of our interview (40-min), “Menopausal Rage EXPOSED What’s REALLY Behind Your Anger,” on Esther’s You Tube channel.
Or if you prefer to listen to the podcast, here is the link.
And check this out: here’s the link to view the animated short trailer for the above video. It is VERY cool!!!
And last but not least, here is the link to subscribe to Esther’s blog, podcast and/or YouTube channel. I have learned a TON from Esther over the years! Not only is she a wise soul, outstanding therapist and dear friend, her blogs, podcasts & videos have fundamentally helped guide & shape my journey…and will continue to do so.
How about you?
Have you ever experienced & expressed extreme rage? If so, what did you learn from it? Did it help guide you or heal you in any way?
Maryanne Pope is the author of “A Widow’s Awakening.” She also writes screenplays, playscripts & blogs. Maryanne is the CEO of Pink Gazelle Productions and Co-Founder of the John Petropoulos Memorial Fund. To receive her blog, “Weekly Words of Wisdom,” please subscribe here. And be sure to visit our PinkGazelleCards Etsy shop.