The Magician, the Accountant & the Origami Maker

Sometimes Keeping Our Mouth Shut Helps Shift the Energy After a Negative Encounter

“When angry, count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.”

– Thomas Jefferson

You know how when you have an encounter with a stranger/s that is just…strange enough, that you find yourself reflecting on it later?

That happened to me recently…and when I did reflect back on it, I realized the experience held a powerful reminder about the importance of dealing with our anger in a constructive way.

The encounter happened at a cruise ship port in Florida. My friend, Lynne, and I had just got off our cruise ship (after a two-week Transatlantic cruise from Barcelona, Spain to Tampa, Florida). Lynne had gone to pick up the rental car, while I stayed behind at the port, guarding our small mountain of suitcases 🙂

I was sitting in a row of chairs. To my left was The Smoking Lady from Spain who didn’t speak much English – but was chattering away in rapid-fire Spanish to someone on the phone. To my right was a man in his seventies, whom I shall call Bill. On the other side of Bill was a good-looking guy in his forties, whom I shall call Jason…which is who I happened to speaking to.

Jason and I were chatting away, exchanging numbers and passing his phone back and forth…trying to sort out the rental car pick-up logistics with Lynne, who had my phone. Jason’s friend had gone off with Lynne to the rental car agency, and was picking up their rental car – which is why Jason was also still waiting at the port with their suitcases.

It was all a bit chaotic and the details of what Jason and I were talking about aren’t important. What is important is that Bill was sitting between Jason and I…and the two of us were so preoccupied trying to get the phone business sorted out that we didn’t realize the impact we were having on Bill. So he let us know.

“Would you like me to MOVE?!” snapped Bill, “So that we can END this rudeness!”

Well, you could have heard a pin drop…okay, not quite, considering we were at a cruise ship port with a few thousand other passengers milling about. But the boisterous occupants in our little row of chairs certainly got quiet.

Jason was the first to speak. And thank goodness he was a gentlemen. “I am so sorry,” he said to Bill. “That was very rude of us.”

Now, although my inside voice was anything but polite, I followed Jason’s gracious lead and also muttered a quick apology to Bill.

Then the three of us sat in awkward silence for a few minutes. It was Jason who spoke first. Again. “Did you have a nice time on the cruise?” he asked Bill.

“Yes.”

Determined to win him over, Jason the Saint proceeded to ask Bill the Grouch more questions about his cruise experience. Sure enough, Bill’s one-word answers gradually grew into complete sentences. I, however, wanted no part of winning Bill over. As far as I was concerned, Bill was a jerk. And if it weren’t for the fact that I had too many damn suitcases to move on my own, I would have got up and moved away.

Alas, I was stuck where I was…still steaming mad about his snarky comment.

Thankfully (for Bill), the magician from our ship happened to turn up right around now (how’s that for magic?!), so I turned my attention to chatting with him as he waited for his Uber ride. His name is Ben Woodward and his hilarious magic show was brilliant! Funnily enough, I had been hauled up on stage and therefore IN his show…which is how we knew each other.

At any rate, while I was talking to Ben, Jason (still on the other side of Bill) was sitting quietly…intently focused on making little origami creations. Yes, you read correctly. Jason the Saint was not only a wise and kind soul who knew how to handle grumpy people and diffuse tense situations, he was also a gifted origami maker.

You can’t make this stuff up!

Anyway, after Ben the Magician disappeared into his Uber, Jason stood up, walked over to me (very wise!) and handed me one of his beautiful origami creations. “That’s for your friend,” he says.

“Oh,” I say. “She’ll love it…thank you!”

Then Jason sat back down again and returned to his Zen-like focus, making his next piece of art.

By this point, I suspect poor Bill was struggling to stay angry with so much damn love unfolding around him, especially since talking with the magician had reduced my inner diatribe against him to a dull roar. The negative energy vibes I was directing his way were definitely waning.

And wouldn’t you know it but what happened next is that Bill started to talking to me! I can’t remember what he said to break the ice. But whatever it was, I’m pretty sure I responded with one word. I was still a little miffed and really had no interest in chatting with him. But I did.

And after a few minutes of warming up to each other (he lived in the same city I grew up in…go figure), our conversation when a little like this:

“I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot,” he said. “I don’t know why I was so irritated. I just get like that sometimes.”

“That’s okay.”

“My wife died two years ago,” he said. “And her bubbly personality was a lot like yours. She was really friendly and happy and rarely got mad. But whenever I said something nasty like I just did with you guys…she would call me on it!”

We both burst out laughing at his honesty…and poof! All my remaining anger was gone. After that, we pretty much chatted non-stop until Lynne finally returned with the rental car – three hours later. And somewhere in there, Jason handed me the pretty little origami rose that he had been so diligently working on.

“That’s for you,” he said, then sat back down again.

And I couldn’t help but wonder if that rose was the Universe’s way of letting me know I’d passed the test/learned the spiritual lesson: least said, soonest mended.

I am SO glad I kept my mouth shut and didn’t tell Bill to chillax. As it turned out, he already knew.

And then something else finally occurred to me. So I turned to Bill.

“Who are you waiting for?” I asked.

“Nobody,” he said. “I’m just hanging out here until it’s time to walk to the train station. I like watching all the people. I find it fascinating.”

What I find fascinating is that even though Bill had been annoyed by Jason and I talking across him, he had still chosen to stay where he was…even though he didn’t have to.

Here’s what else I find fascinating about this strange little encounter: 

#1. That I was given the opportunity to observe how artfully Jason the Origami Maker diffused a tense situation that could have easily turned nasty.

#2. That I was literally stuck having to stay sitting beside someone I was mad at…and did not like. I had no choice but to go through the situation, versus leave it.

#3. That I didn’t open my big mouth and say something snarky to Bill right off the bat.

#4. That I was able to keep my mouth shut long enough so that the magician had time to appear and distract me, which gave me time to cool down.

#5. That I could understand and empathize with what Bill was going through, traveling on his own, two years after losing his spouse. I’ve walked that path myself, many years ago, and I know how difficult and lonely it can be. Sometimes the company of strangers – even rude and annoying ones – is better than nobody at all 🙁

#6. That Bill the Snarky Accountant had the wisdom, maturity and humility to open up the lines of communication between us, so that we could both leave the encounter laughing versus angry.

#7. That I am a writer whose job it is to pay attention to experiences such as this and share what I’m learning with readers who are open to the possibility that maybe, just maybe, we really are here to learn and to grow and to be kind…and to allow our anger and irritation at each other to pass before we say or do something nasty.

Yes, there are times when we absolutely need to speak up for ourselves. But sometimes it’s okay to demonstrate a little grace to a grouchy bear and take the high road, like Jason did.

#8. That the Universe is so skilled at conjuring up creative scenarios (rather like an Origami Maker, come to think of it) that hold hidden life lessons to be learned through the magic of metaphor, that they even threw a real magician into the mix for me this time…just to make sure I was paying attention 🙂

And on that note, I had a riot on stage with Ben!

 

Turns out, I make a pretty good magician’s assistant! In fact, I had so much fun on stage during Ben’s show, that for the next few days I lost track of the number of times that someone (who had been in the audience) came up to me and said: “You’re the lady from the magic act!”

I had more cheerful chats with strangers because of that magic show than I ever could have just by meeting people on my own. How’s that for magic?!

Here are a few more fun photos from our transatlantic cruise…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maryanne Pope is the author of “A Widow’s Awakening.” She also writes screenplays, playscripts & blogs. Maryanne is the CEO of Pink Gazelle Productions and Co-Founder of the John Petropoulos Memorial Fund. To receive her blog, “Weekly Words of Wisdom,” please subscribe here. And be sure to visit our PinkGazelleCards Etsy shop.